I love big. Family, friends, boyfriends, colleagues.
I believe in the good in people. And I believe we can all be bad.
I find in others what I do not see in myself, and I appreciate it for what it can teach me.
I live for my family and for the bright future of the family I will create.
I cherish the way I was raised and the opportunities I was given. I
understand that many people in my life were raised differently and not
given the same opportunities, but were in fact raised beautifully and
given different opportunities.
I sometimes talk in circles. I sometimes don't know what I'm saying.
I sometimes push off the big issues until they are too huge to recover
from. In relationships, friendships and work.
I am smart. People smart. Book smart. Philanthropy smart. Socially smart.
I spent many years making rash decisions. That was fun. I no longer do that.
I
don't stick up for myself enough. Regardless of what I know to be true
in my heart and/or mind, it's easy for me to let others guide me in
certain directions. It's been fun. I will no longer do that.
I am a daughter. A friend. A girlfriend. A colleague. A sorority sister.
A biological sister. A philanthropist. A dreamer. A comedian. A dancer.
Most of all, I am Sara Amin. I am proud of my past, getting comfortable in my present, and looking forward to my future.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Hospital Visit - March 2012
Hi everyone,
You
may have heard bits & pieces of what happened last week, so I just
want to take some time and let you know the whole story (off of
Facebook).
On Wednesday, while at
one of my client's staff meetings, I started having severe chest pains
around 2:30 p.m. that lasted over an hour. At 3:45 p.m., my client made
the executive decision to call THE ASSOCIATED's HR Director, who called
Hatzalah (Jewish emergency services in Baltimore) and came over right
away from the HR office. Hatzalah performed an EKG (heart test) and
started an IV line and oxygen. There were two abnormalities on the EKG
that led them to insist I go to Sinai hospital.
One of my closest
colleagues, Jenny Seidman, followed the ambulance and when we arrived at
the hospital, my vitals were taken (looked normal) and another EKG was
taken. Then began the fun… 3 hours in the waiting room… finally being
taken back to a room at 8:00 p.m.
My primary nurse
Ami hooked me up to a heart monitor and blood pressure machine and a
nice man (I forget his name) took x-rays. Then another nurse Lindry came
to attempt to take blood. That didn’t work so they called two more
nurses, Ellsworth and Erica. After 30 mins of poking and prodding, they
finally got it through the IV in my hand. (P.S. I hate getting blood
drawn, as was evident by my colorful language, nail marks left on
Ellsworth and disdain for Jenny for being allowed to drink water when I
was not.) At that point all we could do was sit and wait for the
results, which took 2 hours.
Tim arrived around
9:30 p.m. to relieve Jenny of her duties (but not before she threatened
my life if I did any work that night). The doctor, William, ruled out
anything with my lungs & heart and believes it is a severe muscle
pull/spasm, more along the chest wall than inside (possibly from stress,
possibly from a sudden start of exercise). He discharged me around
11:00 p.m. and of course, Tim followed me home so I didn't have to leave
my car in Baltimore. It was suggested that I take a few days to rest,
but otherwise I should be fine.
I did not go to work
on Thursday and I only lasted a few hours on Friday because tight
clothing (including bras) really hurt when pressed against my chest and
deep breaths remained a strain. I tried a bit of grocery shopping cardio
today and felt alright, so I know that a bit more rest and I'll be back
to normal. I hope to take my first longer walk outside on Monday
evening.
Thank
you thank you thank you for your phone calls, texts, emails, Facebook
messages and general concern. While I'm obviously going to live, it was
quite a week and I'm now trying to catch up on the past few days of
life. I'm sure I'll talk to each one of you soon!
Love,
Sara
Friday, April 20, 2012
Annihilation
*Poem about the Holocaust written for Peace Studies class, December 2000*
What is under that heavy coat you wear?
Are you truly as scary as you try to be?
Or are you, yourself, still a child?
A small being on this Earth
To whom bad things have come?
Yes I pity you.
I pity everything you are and have been
In the past months.
I pity you because you have no mercy.
You see us here,
Standing for hours.
Sometimes shot,
Sometimes beaten.
The choice is not ours.
It lies in your hands.
Our precious, jeweled lives lie in your hands.
And yet you show no expression.
No ounce of concern or worry
About what goes on around you.
Merely a weapon.
Yes you may carry the gun and the knife,
But you, yourself, are the weapon.
The shot that makes our hearts stop.
The punch that makes us cry.
You are the weapon that they use to destroy us.
Destroy our lives and our hopes and dreams.
Is there a joy for you?
Are we so awful to arouse these feelings in you?
How can that be?
I don't even know your name
And yet you see me as evil.
I am not the evil that ruins lives.
Kills innocent men, women and children.
It is your hatred that ruins us.
Your hatred of something you are not a part of.
I see hunger in your eyes.
Hunger for something I cannot understand.
Nor do I ever hope to feel the way you do.
How terrible would it be to wish these bad thoughts on others?
Is it really that hard to get along?
Not celebrate together,
But to leave each other be.
I am me and you are you.
The glory of differences
Is something you have not learned to love.
We can learn from each other.
Learn how to be different
And still accept each other.
To be peaceful
Is something I can only dream you will learn.
There is nothing gained or praised
From this experience.
We cry now,
And we will cry later.
If only you knew how it felt...
If only you knew.
- Sara Amin
What is under that heavy coat you wear?
Are you truly as scary as you try to be?
Or are you, yourself, still a child?
A small being on this Earth
To whom bad things have come?
Yes I pity you.
I pity everything you are and have been
In the past months.
I pity you because you have no mercy.
You see us here,
Standing for hours.
Sometimes shot,
Sometimes beaten.
The choice is not ours.
It lies in your hands.
Our precious, jeweled lives lie in your hands.
And yet you show no expression.
No ounce of concern or worry
About what goes on around you.
Merely a weapon.
Yes you may carry the gun and the knife,
But you, yourself, are the weapon.
The shot that makes our hearts stop.
The punch that makes us cry.
You are the weapon that they use to destroy us.
Destroy our lives and our hopes and dreams.
Is there a joy for you?
Are we so awful to arouse these feelings in you?
How can that be?
I don't even know your name
And yet you see me as evil.
I am not the evil that ruins lives.
Kills innocent men, women and children.
It is your hatred that ruins us.
Your hatred of something you are not a part of.
I see hunger in your eyes.
Hunger for something I cannot understand.
Nor do I ever hope to feel the way you do.
How terrible would it be to wish these bad thoughts on others?
Is it really that hard to get along?
Not celebrate together,
But to leave each other be.
I am me and you are you.
The glory of differences
Is something you have not learned to love.
We can learn from each other.
Learn how to be different
And still accept each other.
To be peaceful
Is something I can only dream you will learn.
There is nothing gained or praised
From this experience.
We cry now,
And we will cry later.
If only you knew how it felt...
If only you knew.
- Sara Amin
Sunday, September 11, 2011
We Remember: September 11, 2001
10 years ago today... I am a freshman student at Salisbury University in only my 3rd week away from home. It is a Tuesday morning and math class is drudging on as usual. As I return to my dorm room, something is different... in the air, in the faces on campus... and then the TV tells me - At 8:46 a.m., five hijackers crashed American Airlines Flight 11 into the World Trade Center's North Tower and at 9:03 a.m. another five hijackers crashed United Airlines Flight 175 into the South Tower.
Unfathomable. Impossible. Who did this? Has this ever happened before? How did "they" get control of our planes? How many have been killed? Where will people go? Are there enough policemen and firefighters to help?
At 9:37 a.m. another five hijackers fly American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon.
Breath-stopping. Tear-jerking. How close is the Pentagon to the World Bank? Did my father see what happened? Is he OK? All of our friends and family in D.C. - are they OK? Will there be a second hit in D.C. in a few minutes? Are "they" targeting more cities? Am I safe? Should I go home to my family? Are the roads closed? Is the president safe?
I get a call from my mother. She is safe. My father is safe and watching the shock unfold in D.C. I am safe. My sister is safe at school. At 9:59 a.m. the World Trade Center's South Tower collapses.
Our country is literally falling down. We are being crushed by opposing forces under structures of which we are most proud. Americans are running through the streets of New York City unsure what to think, unsure where to go. Firefighters and policemen and other heroes are running toward the ashes, running toward those who need help, running to protect our freedom and lives in limbo.
At 10:03 a.m. a fourth flight, United Airlines Flight 93, under the control of four hijackers, eventually crashes near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, after the passengers fought the hijackers. (Flight 93's ultimate target is believed to have been either the Capitol or the White House.)
Overwhelming. Heart-wrenching. Are there more crashes to come? Do the families know what's happened? How would I have reacted? Could I stop that kind of evil as these passengers did? What will "we" do now?
The university president tells students we are free to leave campus if we so desire... absences will be excused. I pack my bags to go home. I cannot imagine being away from my family any longer. I need my parents to tell me things will be OK. At 10:28 a.m. the World Trade Center's North Tower collapses.
Amongst all the chaos, I am silent. Even my gasp is unheard. There are no words to describe what I am feeling. Tears are falling. My heart steadily throbs for the fallen.
Unfathomable. Impossible. Who did this? Has this ever happened before? How did "they" get control of our planes? How many have been killed? Where will people go? Are there enough policemen and firefighters to help?
At 9:37 a.m. another five hijackers fly American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon.
Breath-stopping. Tear-jerking. How close is the Pentagon to the World Bank? Did my father see what happened? Is he OK? All of our friends and family in D.C. - are they OK? Will there be a second hit in D.C. in a few minutes? Are "they" targeting more cities? Am I safe? Should I go home to my family? Are the roads closed? Is the president safe?
I get a call from my mother. She is safe. My father is safe and watching the shock unfold in D.C. I am safe. My sister is safe at school. At 9:59 a.m. the World Trade Center's South Tower collapses.
Our country is literally falling down. We are being crushed by opposing forces under structures of which we are most proud. Americans are running through the streets of New York City unsure what to think, unsure where to go. Firefighters and policemen and other heroes are running toward the ashes, running toward those who need help, running to protect our freedom and lives in limbo.
At 10:03 a.m. a fourth flight, United Airlines Flight 93, under the control of four hijackers, eventually crashes near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, after the passengers fought the hijackers. (Flight 93's ultimate target is believed to have been either the Capitol or the White House.)
Overwhelming. Heart-wrenching. Are there more crashes to come? Do the families know what's happened? How would I have reacted? Could I stop that kind of evil as these passengers did? What will "we" do now?
The university president tells students we are free to leave campus if we so desire... absences will be excused. I pack my bags to go home. I cannot imagine being away from my family any longer. I need my parents to tell me things will be OK. At 10:28 a.m. the World Trade Center's North Tower collapses.
Amongst all the chaos, I am silent. Even my gasp is unheard. There are no words to describe what I am feeling. Tears are falling. My heart steadily throbs for the fallen.
On this day... I remember. I ache. I vow to pass on the memory. I am proud. I am an American.
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