It’s taken me a
while to sit down and write this blog. I could blame it on full days at
work and hard nights at the gym; I could say I’ve been having too much fun in
my new city to carve out any time. But the truth is, this year was, by far, my
most challenging Walk and I’ve been a little ashamed to talk about it.
But I’ll get to why that is later. For now, let’s start at the beginning of
this year’s journey, back in January …
So, I made a huge
move. After seven years as a marketing professional and 32 years in my home
state of Maryland, I picked up and moved to Texas to join AmeriCorps, a
national service organization. I would dedicate one year of volunteer service
to a literacy organization in Houston. Not only was this a huge change
professionally, it was a bigger change personally. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. My
location, my job, my friendships, my family proximity … it was all going to
change. But there was one thing I wanted to keep steady – and that was my
dedication to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.
My dream has
always been to do good. And more importantly, to do good by others, for
others, with others, in spite of others, because of others. My relationship to
the Avon Walk is special. It shows me I can lead a team of women fighting for a
cause. It shows me I can physically withstand more than I ever realized. It
shows me I can reach people’s hearts and ask them to join me in making a
difference, with their time or money. It shows me that there are communities of
philanthropists taking strides in the right directions and I am a part of
that. Needless to say, it would take a lot for me to stop fundraising those
dollars and walking those miles.
As luck would have
it, the Avon Walk takes place in 9 cities each year, one of them being Houston!
And even better, two teammates from last year (my mom and my dear friend,
Lauren) agreed to travel here and join me once again. I was not in this alone.
I was however, in new territory. Being away from all my donors, there was no
opportunity to host an on-site fundraiser (in the past we’ve done bar nights
with food specials and raffles). Being away from my teammates, there were no
training walks, team meetings or chances to bond before a very long walk
together. (Although many would say I’ve bonded enough with these two women.) So,
reaching my donors and teammates would have to be through emails and social
media. Being quite fluent in both, I knew I could handle it.
Another change was
a total re-branding of the Walk, now called AVON39. When I think about what
the brand used to be, I remember feeling that it was all from the heart.
Powerful words and phrases, but with a message that channeled your emotional
side. This year – BOOM – it was all about being fierce, earning your 39, waking
up with determination and going to bed with satisfaction. Strength in numbers,
but also strength as an individual. Each of us matter. Each dollar we raise, each
step we take. We each matter. I loved it. I felt it in my heart. In my mind. In
my soul. In the soles of my shoes. And
when I saw commercials for the Walk on TV, I would literally cheer. That’s
going to be us! We are going to earn our 39! Funny how even after all these years I still
get riled up. (P.S. Nice job Avon, the re-branding worked.)
I follow AVON39 on
Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. The messages and photos motivate me, they
make me feel connected to other walkers, other cities, the greater cause. So
imagine my elation seeing a photo posted in early February throwing it back to
last year ... and there are my teammates
and me! Out of the thousands of people who walk each year, they grabbed a photo
with us in it! It was such a rush.
AVON39 is two full
days, 39.3 miles. That is a lot of time to be on your feet, wishing the
miles to go by. So in the past, one of the things our team has come to value is
the sideline support of our friends and family. Those loved ones who meet us at
rest stops, hold signs as we pass by, bring snacks along the route and even
walk a few miles here and there. That’s the beauty of doing the Walk in your
own city. But, alas, we would not have that this year. One of our greatest
supporters, our dear friend, Eve, sent us a care package a few weeks before the
Walk. In this box were fun pink ribbons socks, blister kits, under eye badges
and Glide for our feet. As someone who we’d miss this year, it was delightful
to know we’d walk with a piece of her with us.
Before we knew it,
walk weekend had arrived! As we do every year, first stop was Event Eve on
Friday night. This is a time when all walkers are invited to the host hotel to
turn in any last minute donations, shop at the AVON39 store, grab swag, take
photos, register for next year, etc. We did all that and more! Each year I fill
out a form requesting to be a media walker, someone who is available throughout
the weekend to speak with the press about the journey. For the past 2 years I’ve
been selected, and although I’ve never actually been called upon, I get a cool
media walker button and know that I could be asked to speak on behalf of our philanthropic
community at any time. So I checked in with the media team and then head over
to the “rewards” area. The minimum you need to raise in order to walk is $1800
and there are certain milestones after that for which you are “rewarded.” For
reaching $2200, I received a top fundraiser hat. For reaching $3600, I received
a top fundraiser shirt. I’m able to sport those thanks to my DONORS.
** In 7 years, I
have raised $25,437 for this cause. The team total is $77,350.**
For dinner, we
loaded up on carbs at The Cheesecake Factory. Aside from our appetizer of
mac ‘n cheese balls (oh my goodness, yum), I ordered a huge Louisiana-style
pasta dish that was a little piece of heaven. After many months of counting
calories, this was going to be a weekend (and apparently week after) of
splurging. We waddled home (well, we drove, but it was slow and steady), made sure our bags were packed and our first day outfits were ready … and then
passed out.
Alarm went off at 4:00
a.m.! Even when you think you’re prepared, the morning comes too quickly
and you find yourself running around with duffel bags and shoes and swag flying
everywhere. We arrived at the host hotel at 5:30 a.m. and left the car there. We,
along with hundreds of others, would be shuttled to opening ceremonies at Stude
Park. Upon arrival, we immediately got in line for breakfast. Then we filled
our Camel-backs with water, made sure our swag looked good and got in place for
group stretching and morale. Along with the re-branding were the introduction
of connection bands, which shared for whom you walk – someone you love, someone
you miss, everyone, yourself. I picked everyone.
And then they
announced that Houston walkers and crew raised $2.7 million this year. Wow.
Money for research. Money for mammograms. Money for meals. We did that. Us
daughters and sisters and fathers and husbands and friends and colleagues. We
reached out and our donors answered. One of my favorite quotes reads, “The
greatest thing you can do in your life is – with pride, with power – to ask
somebody to change the world. Worlds can be changed a dollar at a time, five
dollars at a time. And when somebody is feeling powerless in life, what makes
them feel great is when they give. When you give, you feel generous. When you
feel generous, you feel powerful.”
The route opened
at 7:00 a.m. sharp. We were on our way to crush miles and make memories.
And then 7:05 a.m. came. And brought torrential downpour. And thunder. And
lightning. By the time we put on our ponchos, we were soaked. The funny thing
about heavy rain is, it doesn’t just come from the sky. Once enough of it hits
the ground, it creeps up and then you’re walking in moving puddles disguised as
shoes. This was, to put it mildly, quite uncomfortable (and why we carry
extra socks in our Camel-backs). The heavy rain continued for about 2 hours. And
I know what you’re thinking – how could we stand it? Well, the thing
is, walking in rain is better than sitting in chemo. Blisters are temporary,
fierce is forever.
To keep us from drowning
in our sorrows (see what I did there?), we kept busy by making
new friends (whose Rosie the Riveter shirts matched ours), high-fiving the
amazing crossing guards keeping us safe along the route, petting strange dogs,
taking pictures with the Houston skyline, admiring statues and eating every
piece of candy offered at the rest stops. After a few hours and 10 solid miles, my mom and Lauren made the difficult decision
to stop walking. With the downpour followed by the heat and humidity, it was
just too much. So, we made the “X” sign with our arms and a sweep van came by
to grab them and shuttle them to lunch, only a few miles away. I went on on foot, full
speed, to meet them there so we could eat together.
When I arrived at
lunch (mile 13.1 – halfway through the day), we grabbed our turkey
sandwiches and sat in the sun to continue drying off. My mom and Lauren determined
they were done for the day, so they’d get shuttled right to base-camp after
lunch. I knew I would continue walking, but because of the rain (and walking in
puddle shoes), I visited the medical tent to get my feet checked out. I was
happy I did because the nurse found three toes that were thinking about
possibly becoming blistered. She wrapped me up and sent me on my way! The
second half of the day was just as unpleasant as the first half. The heat and
humidity were killer, some of the streets/sidewalks weren’t paved as nicely as you’d
wish for a long walk and I didn’t have my team with whom I could pass the time.
I met a woman named Lynn, part of the Texas Lady Cop group, around mile 15 and
we walked together for a while. Then I met two women named Kathy and Melissa
around mile 19 and we walked together until mile 22.
At the mile 22
rest stop, I sat down on the curb. I was feeling dizzy, disoriented and a
little nauseous. Once again I visited medical and after some observation we
determined I was really dehydrated and it was best for me to stop walking for
the day. I was frustrated, disappointed and sad. I have never not completed the
full 26.2 miles on day one. Had I not trained enough in the Houston heat? Had I
made the rookie mistake of not drinking enough during the day? Was I, a 7-year
team captain, really going to stop before crossing the day one finish line? The
answer was yes and I was truly upset. I got on the rest stop shuttle bus and
started to think about everyone I was letting down. My teammates, who believe
in my strength. My donors, who believe that if they give their dollars, I will
give my miles. Myself, who when asked each year if I’ll do the whole thing,
responds emphatically with “of course, it’s not an option.”
When I arrived at
base-camp, my mom and Lauren were waiting for me with smiles, water and an
already-set-up tent. I lay down for a few minutes to “sober up,” then I took a
shower and we went to the dining tent. While we were eating, the idea came up
to not tent, but instead go back to my apartment and recuperate. All three of
us were hurting in different ways and I was not re-hydrating all that quickly. After
maybe 20 minutes of discussing the possibility back and forth (I was so torn
with again doing something I’d never done before – sleeping at home and not in
a tent), we finally decided it was in our best interest to go home for a good
night’s rest. My biggest concern was coming back stronger than ever for day
two, and I had a firm yes from Lauren that if we indeed went home to sleep, she
would be ready with a smile to join me for day two. While waiting for the
shuttle home, we sat next to a large blow up that read “the power of 39 is in
you.” It got me thinking about my feeling of failure that day. After reading it
over and over again, and shedding some tears, I realized that regardless of the
day’s result, I have the power of 39 in me. Every year I dig deep. Every year I
give it all I’ve got. And for that, I am proud.
The next morning I
was ready to rock ‘n roll! Nothing was going to stop me from crossing that
finish line – I was tough. I was fierce. I had the power. My mom drove Lauren
and me back to base camp where day two would begin and we shot off like there
was no tomorrow. We were passing miles left and right. This day was going to
fly by! And then, at mile 35 (only 4.3 miles to go), Lauren got overheated and
needed to stop. She told me to keep going and said she would get shuttled to
the finish line to meet me. It’s difficult as a team captain, which I expressed
to Lauren, to know what to do when someone says they can’t go on anymore. Should
I encourage them to push themselves further? Or should I trust that they’ve
already gone through their thoughts and feelings and just wave goodbye as I keep
going? In reality I think it’s different with different people. With Lauren,
she’s a smart cookie and knows when she needs to stop (she’s also not a rookie –
it was her second year). So I went on without her.
When I got to the
mile 38 rest stop (just 1.3 miles to go), I got a text from Lauren that
said she made it to mile 36, heard Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” and was
determined to finish the Walk. That’s what I’m talking about! So I sat down,
stretched, took some selfies, filled up on Gatorade and waited for my dear
friend to arrive. When she did, in true Lauren form, she had taken off her
shoes and was walking in her flip flops. I told her she was crazy. She didn’t
care. We continued on. And then … we heard it … the sea of people cheering on
the finishers. And then … we saw it … the big finish line banner. And then … we
saw her … my mom in our matching outfit … waving and pointing at us … ready to
walk hand-in-hand through the finish line … as Team Tit-Tastic.
I’m always amazed
by how I feel after a Walk. Almost immediately after I cross the finish
line, I miss it. I miss hitting my fundraising goals. I miss training with the
gusto of someone who has a major journey ahead of them. I miss the energy of
opening ceremonies and the accomplishment of closing ceremonies. I miss the
crossing guards and the crew. I miss the other walkers, with fun t-shirts and
smiles and their own stories. I miss the feeling of YES I CAN with each passing
mile marker. I miss my teammates.
Together we support
the fighters, admire the survivors, honor the taken, and never, ever give up
hope. It is a beautiful piece of my life's journey for which I am beyond
grateful. This is Avon 39: The Walk To End Breast Cancer.
SEE FULL ALBUM OF PHOTOS FROM OUR WALK WEEKEND >>
Breast cancer facts >>
Breast cancer help, support and guidance >>
2014 D.C. Walk blog >>
2014 D.C. Walk photos >>
2013 D.C. Walk blog >>
2013 D.C. Walk photos >>
